Difficult decision

Obviously I don't need to tell you that Cursed with Power has gone through a lot.  And the changes it has gone through are greater than anything else.  Well, as you may or may not remember old English was being used in dialog and so forth throughout the book.  I am changing this.  No, I am not getting rid of it because of the complaints I hear much too often.  I know I said I was going to stay with it, but every writer has to let go of something at some point or another.  This is something so small that I have to give up, I really cannot complain.  (Of course I might because of the extra work that is added on.)

So if I cannot blog all the time it is because I have major revisions to do with Cursed with Power.  I have to change all of the language --for a third time--and while I'm doing that I have to continue on with the next chapter and etc etc.

Luckily, I planned out chapter 15-22 today, so it's safe to say I have an idea of what I'm going to be doing for the next good amount of chapters.  Maybe that means the chapters will be finished in a more timely fashion, and maybe it won't have all that much of an effect.  All the same, I thank all of you who have supported me with this difficult decision I've made.  For those of you who loved the old English and said "old english is ftw!", I truly cannot thank you enough.

I would also personally like to give a shout out to Jaclyn Dolamore, who explained to me what it means to "let go" in writing.  And thanks to another author --whose name I unfortunately forgot--for telling me that when you come to the point where you're asking "How do I know when to let go?" it is time to simply do just that... Let go.

As always, I will continue sharing with you progress I make with the book.

"There's a lot that I want." He said. He smirked as he said it like he knew he was pushing my patience.

A beautiful scene

I have been waiting to find the perfect moment to place a particular favorite scene of mine into Cursed with Power, and at last I have come to it in chapter 14.  I cannot give away much since the chapter is not posted yet, but I thought I'd give you a little insight into my crazy mind.  (Scary, right?  Don't worry; I won't bite you... not yet, anyways.)

As we all can agree, there are many dark elements woven into Cursed with Power.  This only makes sense because the entire series focuses around people who are seen as villains and in some cases even compared to "monsters".  One of the first conversations in the book particularly focused on this.

“I hope thou art mistaken.  I want these monsters to be gone already!” Keina said, almost sounding as angry as me.  I almost shuddered because she had called Dark magicians “monsters”.  She had called me a “monster”.  I was no such thing; yes, I had a magic that was sinister and not the most polite to show, but that did not make me a creature of some sort.  She could not realize how badly she had insulted me, and that almost bothered me more than the insult itself.

How can a scene of beauty and happiness appear during dark times?  How can it be formed into Celestria's story?  I assure you it is possible, whether you believe me or no.  It's simply a matter of patience and timing because if one wishes to add in this scene they must do it carefully.  I would like to believe that the scene I have created will take the readers into what feels like another world.  While Celestria is there --and with another individual--there are mysteries that even lurk within this joyous part of the book.
If only these moments could last a while longer.  If only the seconds could turn into minutes, the minutes to hours, the days into months, and so forth.  However, even in reality we know this is not true.  One moment you can be spinning around in a field with a white dress on.  The next minute you wake up and you're already an hour late to work.  Welcome to reality.
All the same, I hope you will pay close attention to the new chapter that is being posted of Cursed with Power.  It has been one of my favorites to work on, and when you read it perhaps you will understand why.

And if I were to let you get a glance at the chapter...

"His name?" He asked with a sly smile.

"It should be 'trouble' because that is all he wants," I said.

I understand that was the quickest glance of your life, but I cannot give away anymore, for if I do I will have nothing to say when I post the update about the chapter.

Any thoughts?  If you're reading this and thinking, "Why has she posted this when the chapter isn't up?" I assure you my answer is not because I wish to tease you.  I simply thought to share with you my thought process... or whatever you'd like to call it.

"There's a lot that I want." He said. He smirked as he said it like he knew he was pushing my patience.

Chapter thirteen.... Awake

Memories are part of our lives.  They follow us, but for Celestria... Memories haunt her.  They are like ghosts...they are like falcons, swallowing her as they might a worm.  If she did not have the horrid memories of her past, perhaps she never would have become the person she did.  However, that is not the case.  The truth of the matter is everything that has occurred in her life cannot be undone.
Sometimes it is these memories alone that bring back the darkest moments of life.  Sometimes it is what you know in your mind that you fear the most in your heart.
And while she spends the entire night up there are only two thoughts on her mind:
Will Alaire live?
How did she ever get involved in all of this?

Excerpt from the chapter: “If I do not sleep I can keep myself from dreaming.  Thou cannot imagine what these dreams do to me.  They are like ghosts; they haunt me.  They are like falcons; they swoop down on me and have no mercy.”

            His hand touched mine, and he asked, “Why?”

            “My dreams bring back memories… Memories I do not care to remember.  Every time it gets worst and Dyanna haunts me the most.  She is dead, yet she seems to be mocking the truth I shall never know.  I will never know what happened to my Aunt Ilena, and she will never understand why I acted as I did.” I explained.  I moved my hand away from his when I finished.  There was something that did not seem right about that…

There was new material added into this chapter about Aunt Ilena.  I thought of the ideas one night and decided it needed to be added in, though now I think I may have to change the flow of chapter one.  The first scene about the dream will remain the same.  However, there is a bit that may need changing because I am hearing much too often that I'm "telling not showing" in that chapter.  Chapter 13 took me a bit of a while to finish because of the new additions I have added in and because Alaire's fate I am still attempting to determine.  As I work on chapter 14 it is difficult to say what will happen next for him.
Of course, if you haven't caught up in the story you have no idea what I am talking about.  Alaire, who is he?  Don't worry, I won't give away anything major as I continue with these updates.  This is merely for your convenience and I would never ruin a surprise for you.


Try to stay awake.  It may be all that keeps the nightmares from coming....


The images used in this post are not those of my own.  They are property of deviantart and all credit goes to the creators.

"There's a lot that I want." He said. He smirked as he said it like he knew he was pushing my patience.

Covers for Cursed with Power

While waiting for someone from deviantart to make me a cover, I have attempted to make some of my own.  However, finding pictures to go with the storyline of Cursed with Power is more difficult than I can stress to you.
I'd appreciate opinions...

Personally I feel this one is too bright for the mood Cursed with Power automatically sets when you begin the book.  Right in the prologue Celestria tells of her troubles, and so I'm not sure how I feel about this cover.  The doubling of the image I did myself to have more of an effect.

Well, what can I say about this one so you won't laugh at me?  First off, the image only looks blurry because I've enlarged the size so you wouldn't have to be turning you head in every possible way to see what the heck this little cover looks like.  There's really no fantasy feel I get from this cover.  Yeah, it's dark.  Yeah, there's red.  Who cares?  I don't know about this either...

Since I'm in quite a disagreement with myself at the moment I'm keeping the cover as it is.

This probably looks better than all of them because someone else --Hexen--made it for me.  Nonetheless, I shall keep looking for something... If you have any opinions please share them with me.  Or if you rather tell me to stop even attempting to make a decent cover, then please use small words.  (Because you don't want to hurt my feelings, right?  *waits* Right? *sighs*)

"There's a lot that I want." He said. He smirked as he said it like he knew he was pushing my patience.

Celestria's Dreams

Today I thought I would post about the dreams Celestria has in Cursed with Power because beside them occurring often throughout the book, they actually have a lot more behind them then what there might seem.
I did not decide to have dreams involved in the storyline simply because I wanted to.  Oh no, my reasons went further than that.  Like Celestria, I rarely have dreams.  In the first chapter Celestria outright says that she is analyzing the dream she has just had because it's been years since she last had a dream.  However, there are times when certain events seem to spark dreams... or even nightmares.  Out of nowhere you wake up in the early morning and you wonder what just happened. This exact event happened to me only yesterday, the morning of Thanksgiving.  I woke up from a dream and I laid in my bed, staring at the ceiling, attempting to grasp what had just happened.
Celestria does much of the same, though I think we can all agree that the dreams she have are much more painful than any one person should have to deal with.  She dreams of her dead sister, Dyanna, and of her past lover, Adam.  As the story progresses, her dreams seem to advance as well.  They go from being simple memories to conversations she never recalls having.  Each time she has a dream she wakes up just as confused as before...

I woke up to find myself lying on the wooden floor.  My face was wet and as I raised my head from the ground I noticed something I had never seen before…a strand of golden hair was on the floor.

Sometimes I think I wonder as Celestria does.  Are dreams more than what they seem?  Is there significance in them that we are meant to grasp once we wake up?  Can they warn us, help us, scare us, torture us...?
Personally, I'd like to believe that a dream is more than a dream.  No matter what is about,  I think every dream --and nightmare, for that matter--has significance.  Of course, I doubt any of us care to ponder forever the true meaning of a mere dream.
Is a dream just a dream?

“Fear thy future, dear sister.  Much is to occur and thou cannot face it on thy own, for if thou dost there will be consequences… Consequences I assure you none of us want to see.” Dyanna whispered.  She began humming a song, but I could not comprehend what was occurring.  I was sobbing in front of three people who meant so much to me, and I had not yet considered how they had arrived here.  How were they in my room?  How were they here together?  Above all, what had happened to them?  The blood on Dyanna’s dress told a story of its own; however, I could not bear to look at it for any longer. 

Or maybe it is something more...

**The pictures featured in this post are not my own, but are pictures owned by users on deviantart.com Images are merely for your entertainment, and are not meant to represent Celestria --or any other characters mentioned.

The quotes that were featured within this post are from chapter 7 of Cursed with Power.  I have included them because they go with the context of this post and I do not believe in any way give away anything.*

"There's a lot that I want." He said. He smirked as he said it like he knew he was pushing my patience.

Chapter twelve....Without a Breath

Chapter 12 went public a day or two ago, but I held off on posting the update because I had thought I would finish chapter 13 soon after.  However, with Thanksgiving those plans changed.  Onto what the chapter is about.
Chapter 12...
Without a Breath
Celestria and Alaire set out to travel yet again, but soon they are faced with a new fear.  They must overcome the tension building up between them and ultimately at the end of the chapter Alaire's future is determined.  In this chapter he is only breaths away from his death.  Will he die?

EXCERPT FROM THE CHAPTER:

Annoyed, I said, “I have not forgotten anything, but I do think it strange when thou knowest everything I ask of thee.”

            Just as I stepped to walk out onto the road, Alaire grabbed hold of my arm. “Do not cry on my shoulder if this is what I receive in return.  Let me remind thee, I saved thy life as everyone else watched in horror.  Make no mistake, if thou continue on this way I shall not do that again.”

            The moment he let me go I began running on the road.  I did not stop until I realized how far I had gone without Alaire.  He did not deserve to be treated like a meaningless servant.  There was so much truth he spoke about me, as if he could read into my every thought.  As if he could look into every memory I had and reference to it.  Like he said, I had cried on his shoulder; there was no way I could deny that.

Now question it all because in a moment it could all....
End...for the worst.
Find out what happens next time you read Cursed with Power.  Keep watch on the blog for the update on chapter 13, which is coming soon.

"There's a lot that I want." He said. He smirked as he said it like he knew he was pushing my patience.

Happy thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.  I want to thank every single one of you who are following this blog, whether you are doing so publicly or in secret.  I never imagined having a blog for the Magicians series --much less any series I would write--or that people would want to follow this blog.
I cannot thank you all enough.  It means a lot to me, and I try to keep the posts as interesting as possible.  I hope from this blog you have been able to connect with the book(s) in a new way from before.  I hope in the future this blog will turn into something more, but until then I am extremely grateful for the 22 followers there are of this blog.  Whether you're here because you've read Cursed with Power, because you love Leal, or simply because you liked the layout I hope you'll continue to follow this blog.

"There's a lot that I want." He said. He smirked as he said it like he knew he was pushing my patience.