Seven months

Seven months...
God, doesn't that seem like a long time?  I can remember, though, seven months ago this book --this entire series--was just another idea that had come to mind.  It was something I said, "Yeah, I'd like to do this" but never actually imagined doing.  Seven months ago I was determined not to start another book.  I told myself to wait before I began Cursed with Power, since at the time I was focusing on finishing Everblue and getting Certain Fate public on inkpop.

Instead, I broke my promise to myself and honestly I'm glad I did.  Despite the few people who are interested in the other two books I still have yet to finish, I am glad that I started Cursed with Power.  After I wrote the prologue I just fell in love.  This kind of love was not like the other love I have known in life.  This was a kind of love that I could make grow every single day.  I know it sounds cliché, but that's exactly what happened.
So long ago I did not know what was next for Celestria Hale.  She and I traveled here and there throughout her story because, like her, I was lost with where to go next.
Months ago when I came to you and said "I'm finished", I was not being honest.  I was lying to you, my readers, and myself.  When I said I was finished, what I actually meant was it's all written out in Word and now I'm going to change it all to make it better.  That's what I did.  So if you were to ask me what the highlight has been of my Junior year in high school, I'll tell you it's been working day and night on this book.  Whether it's been researching, reading, editing, or adding in more.  This is the journey of a lifetime that, no matter what, I will continue to enjoy through the good and the bad.

I was speaking with one of my readers today, and she and I were remembering when there used to only be seven chapters in total of Cursed with Power up on inkpop.  Remember that?  Then my posts on the blog came where I would attempt to explain why it was going to take me a week to finish chapter eleven.  That seems so long in the past now when you look at where this has came.
Now I'm working on chapter twenty, and as I told you in my last post I feel like the story is becoming much longer than I originally planned.  I had it figured out that by January I would finish the book with twenty four chapters.  However, now I'm going in the direction the wind blows me.  Like Celestria said, I don't know where it is taking me.  At least, not just yet.

We went from having a MC who was mostly alone through the entire book to her meeting up with handsome and funny Léal Irvine.  Oh that Léal... I wonder how everyone would have reacted if he never had been in this book to begin with.  As I told you once before, he was not originally supposed to have a large role in Cursed with Power.  Despite his absence after a particular chapter, Léal has ended up becoming a more main character than most anyone else through this book beside Celestria, of course.  He not only caught Celestria's admiration and attention, but he seemed to get the attention of the readers as well.  He's the man everyone says they "want", yet we don't know anything about him...
Then there's Alaire, who never originally was planned to be in the book at all.  Out of nowhere Celestria was seconds away from death.  Someone had to save her.  I'll admit at first I thought, "Yes, now Léal can come back!" but then I realized... Everything Celestria and Léal meant to each other would be thrown away if he came back out of nowhere.  I thought and I thought... Then I decided Alaire needed to be the one to rescue Celestria from death.  In return, she would gain a "partner" and he would gain a personality I had never fully understood for him.  He started out as a quiet man, but once I threw him into the action I saw a darker and deeper side to him.
The dramatic changes in plot that have been made to this book... I could tell you about them for days, but honestly I think I would bore you.

Let's not forget the dramatic cover changes that have been made during these long seven months.

  

Exactly, look at all of those covers! There are just such an overwhelming amount, and I keep them all.  I guess it shows how the book evolved and changed throughout the years.  Who really knows?

Enough with cover madness; trust me it drives me insane.  The purpose I wrote this post was because I wanted to share with you how the book has come along.  I wanted to share with you the memories, and lastly I wanted to remind you there is more.  This journey Celestria is involved in is one we all have become involved in by reading the story.  While I know many of you are excited about the coming of New Life, I want to remind you that before that books evolves into all that it can be there is a very long road this book and I must travel down.  When it's finally finished I know getting it published will not be easy.  I spent four years of my life attempting to get The Magic of Light published, which now just seems like a joke.  If I can say I've have that book "finished" for five years now, I must certainly can say that whenever this book comes together I'll have more hard work to show for it.  There might not be over 30 some characters in this book, but my ex told me, "You're the only one of all my girlfriends who has written a book....and been so dedicated."

It's been a great and pain-in-the-butt seven months, but I hope you will continue to stay as I finish out this book and get into the madness once again with mailing agents and whatnot.

It started out with an eye...

And now look at all that it has turned into.  Madness, characters, plot, history, fantasy, magic, love, and so much more.  (Mostly madness, though.)  

"There's a lot that I want." He said. He smirked as he said it like he knew he was pushing my patience.

Chapter 19: Feel Your Touch

CHAPTER 19
FEEL YOUR TOUCH
I want to know that when you walk away from me, you're that much more determined to come back.  When you cry in my arms, you'll pull in closer toward me.  When I feel the touch of your skin... I want you to feel me too because I've been standing beside you... and I've been standing for much too long. I desire to be with you.


In chapter nineteen of Cursed with Power, Celestria comes to realize a shocking new truth that awaits her in Grefin's manor.  With reality, she must also come to accept some painful yet memorable past occurrences in her life.  At last she may share a bond with someone close to her, but is it already too little too late?  Has Celestria wasted too many years obsessing over the power she possesses?  What is the point to looking back on old memories when they are long gone?

EXCERPT:

Is this me? I thought. As I twirled back and forth with the dress, I felt foolish. Dyanna had always been the beautiful one; even Aunt Ilena had reminded me of that. The men pranced around her and offered her roses, while I walked ten steps behind her without receiving any attention at all. It had been that way ever since she was born, and after a while I had grown accustomed to it. The red hair that fell down my shoulders suddenly looked perfectly maintained. My green eyes, which I had always thought were dull, glistened with the dress.

“Everybody has always told me you can’t see love. When I look in your eyes, they stand corrected. Celestria, why must you have this effect on me?” Adam had once told me.

Backing away from the mirror, I reasoned with myself that I needed to leave. If I did not return to Alaire they would begin to wonder. I had already taken up enough time, but as I continued debating with myself I could not help but to think back to memories.

A great amount of thought and detail was put into the detail and the events that occurred within this chapter.  Not only did Celestria face something difficult she felt she needed to be said, but she also had to admit to her readers the truth she hides in side.  However, Celestria and the readers both are left with more questions.  While a few truths are brought to the suffer, she is far from uncovering everything she desires to know.
Despite an awkward situation at the end of the chapter, it is evident to both the reader and the author that there are many more chapters ahead.  What lies in the future for Celestria Hale?  What of Alaire Sencler?  Their futures, like their hands, may or may not be intertwined.  Only she can tell you what happens when next you read Cursed with Power.

**The images used in this post are not mine.  They are property of deviantart.com and I do not own them.  The images are to make the post more interesting, but they DO NOT represent any characters, places, etc. in Cursed with Power.**

"There's a lot that I want." He said. He smirked as he said it like he knew he was pushing my patience.

Chapter 18: Every Last Word

CHAPTER 18
EVERY LAST WORD
I can sit in the rain and shiver as I am soaked.  You really don't have to be anybody special to stand in the rain.  It's just like standing in the middle of a path when two horses are running at you.  Either you move and hurt yourself, or you remain where you are and accept the pain.
--Leal


From the day Celestria met Alaire, she knew there were secrets he kept from her.  However, she came to accept this because she knew she had secrets of her own.
It's ironic how quickly all of that changed.

Celestria wakes up in the middle of the night to find out Alaire is chocking, coughing, and feels his entire body going numb.  Now is the time to worry.
In this new chapter, Alaire's future is addressed.  It's not him and Celestria arguing about what they've said and done.  No, it's Celestria hoping, praying, wishing Alaire will live... yet she is not too certain he will.
Join her as she comes to discover what he means to her, the feelings she has for him, and quite possibly the secrets he found out about.
EXCERPT:

Alaire interjected, “Do not go!  Please, Celestria; do not leave me here.  I can feel it now…”

            As he pulled me in closer, I turned my face so our lips did not touch.  Then I asked what I regretted. “What do you feel?”

            “Death.”

            One word and that was all it took.  My life just all together flipped over and burned.  Why was this happening to him?  What had he done?  He was more of a decent person than I, yet he was the one dying?  I could not begin to understand it; I listened to his breathing and wished I knew what to do.  This was the time for me to say something that would matter; something with an impact.  I found I was speechless for the first time. 

I know the excerpt is short, but that's because I don't want to give away to much about the chapter.  You need to read it yourself to find out what happens.
 What do you think happens?  Can Alaire live?
Find out, and in chapter 19 Celestria will narrate her reaction and what she has come to realize, accept, and want to take revenge out on.

"There's a lot that I want." He said. He smirked as he said it like he knew he was pushing my patience.

Answering a question: "How did..."

Question: How did you think of the title for Cursed with Power?


Asked by: Tessa Faith at Witty Writer


First, I'll just say that I cannot explain why other people don't ask questions about the book or the series.  All I can say, Tessa, is be patient and maybe one day they'll come around to asking something.
Onto the question...

The title came to me because I realized that while Celestria has a power it is one that is a burden.  If you think about it, everything in her life has changed and in many ways been destroyed because she is able to perform Dark magic.  Therefore, saying that her power was something that cursed her seemed like a decent title to explain the whole of it.  Thus the book was titled Cursed with Power.

"There's a lot that I want." He said. He smirked as he said it like he knew he was pushing my patience.

Chapter 17: The Bond We Had

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
THE BOND WE HAD
Once I thought you were a rose.  Every day you became more beautiful, despite how at the same time you were aging.  
All too soon I came to terms with reality.  If you were a rose you would begin to shrivel in the winter.   You would fear change, and you... Ha, you've never feared much of anything without firstly denying it to everyone around you.
--Leal


Celestria knows that Alaire's condition is only getting worst, so she begins to think back to a time when she thought her life was ending.  When she was so close to death but managed to escape it.

A man was kneeling beside me; I could not recognize him, and my failing vision did not help me get a better look at him.  He spoke words to me, but I could not understand him.  Either he was not speaking Romanian or all of the senses in my body were ceasing to work, but it did not matter.  In a minute the world went dark around me.  The darkness was almost unbearable…

Above is an excerpt from chapter 9 of Cursed with Power.
She remembers that Alaire saved her life by stopping Aldemund and taking her to Roana.  Why could not Roana help Alaire now in his time of dying?  Why could she not perform a miracle again?
In this chapter, however, there are other matters beside Alaire's condition mentioned.  There is a black sparrow, white and red ribbons, and a bond Alaire mentions that he believes is broken.
What is this bond?  Why does Alaire want to travel to Belsgar?  Who the heck is Emeria?  The answers begin to unravel...
EXCERPT:

“What kind of ‘friend’ are you anyways?” I asked him.  From the start I had felt uncomfortable around him, but now more than ever I realized everything he had done.  He was a good magician; there was nothing he could gain from helping us.  There was no reason for him to save Alaire’s life.

I continued speaking. “Does holding up your part of the bargain make you a friend?  Do you not realize there is more to friendship than giving and taking?”

“Grefin…” Daciana’s tone rose as she called for him, though he was sitting beside her.  He stood up, which blocked my view of Alaire.  Ignoring Emeria, I moved to stand at the edge of the bed.  Alaire was coughing viscously, and his body jolted as he continued on.  Daciana kept a firm hold onto him as he shook and rocked back and forth without control.  I wiped a tear from the edge of my eye and breathed when he finally returned to being calm.  

 Sometimes you do not realize how much you care about someone until you're standing beside them... watching them take their last breaths.  Until you feel a tear leaving your eye and can gasp what you are about to lose.
What will Celestria do if she loses Alaire?

You ruin every relationship you have with a person.

The quote at the beginning was one I came up with off the top of my head.  I decided I might be adding in quotes relating to images or the chapter at the beginning of these posts for those of you who miss him.
I assure you that even with the holidays I will try to accomplish more of Cursed with Power.  It's about halfway finished, and there are some of you who are just as excited as me for what the ending will turn out to be.
Merry Christmas and happy holidays.

"There's a lot that I want." He said. He smirked as he said it like he knew he was pushing my patience.

Chapter 16: If He Is Watching

Chapter 16
IF HE IS WATCHING

"Sometimes I wonder if He is watching..."

During the moments of silence, darkness, and loss we must accept what comes to us.  We must question what is left, if we have a purpose, and who will ever care.  This is simply what Celestria must do.  She fears --like you might--that she will lost someone who has become a friend to her.  A friend she never had before, and now someone she realizes she does not want to lose.
 Welcome to Grefin's manor.  Alaire told Celestria this was where she would find his friend, but what he did not mention was who Grefin was and why he was significant to what they hope to accomplish.  She knows that the journey into Finton City keeps her from finding out Leal's wellbeing, but with Alaire's life on the line Celestria must set her priorities straight.
And so a strange silence enters the manor.  It fills the rooms, leaves Celestria motionless, and lastly brings out the worst of Celestria's fears.
Betrayal.
One small word with a heavy meaning...

“Your supplies?  Perhaps you misunderstood.  This. Cannot. Wait.” I spoke as slowly as possible.  It seemed I needed to repeat myself for Grefin to grasp how urgent this visit was.  His manner of acting nonchalant was pushing me to the edge, and if I lost my temper I could only imagine what would begin.  Another fight was not what I wanted to get involved in, but this was Alaire I was seeking help for.  If he and Grefin had allowed each other to live and had become “friends”, why was Grefin acting as he was?

            “No, I understand perfectly, but I will be of no help if I leave without any materials.  Alaire is strong; I know he is, but he cannot be saved if you fight with me,” Grefin said.  Then, he walked past me and toward the staircase.  I glared, but nonetheless I followed him because he already knew…

            I am begging him. I thought.  When I blinked and my eyes shut for a second, a memory flashed into my head.  The night when I had been crying, and when I had held Alaire’s cross until at last I fell asleep… Walking up the staircase, I felt restless.  How long had I been walking?  For how much longer could I go on like this?

This chapter came together much sooner than I expected, and hopefully for those of you who are avid readers you will enjoy it.  I can say there is a lot of tension and suspense building up, but you can only find out what happens to Alaire by reading the book.
A song that influenced the ending of this chapter was "Hurricane" by 30 Seconds to Mars.  I am posting the song within this update because this song has been inspirational and I like the story within the song.

For the official video, look it up on youtube.  This is just the song itself, but the official music video is 13 minutes long because the band made a short film out of the song and did an excellent job.


If you have not caught up with where you left off, please realize that I am working on chapter 17 now.  I plan to get more done over the winter break that will be starting after the 23rd of this month.  Until the next chapter, read what's new.
Remember, when you leave a comment on Cursed with Power you not only show your support, but you encourage me to keep writing.  Thank you for the continuous feedback.

“You need to be wearing this, Alaire.  I want Him to watch over you when I cannot.”

 Read the new chapter.

"There's a lot that I want." He said. He smirked as he said it like he knew he was pushing my patience.

Cursed with Power **AWARDS**

That's right, you heard correctly.  A new year is approaching us.  On television they are giving awards for books, movies, and music.  Here, on the blog, I'm asking the readers give any awards they see appropriate.

After all, aren't you wondering what everyone else is thinking?

I want to hear your thoughts on Cursed with Power.  I truly want to know who is your favorite character, what has been your favorite quote, and who you absolutely hate in the book.

Remember, if you say something that really stands out and affects me in some way I will post it up on the sidebar of the blog.  Please take a look at this.

CURSED WITH POWER AWARDS 2010

"There's a lot that I want." He said. He smirked as he said it like he knew he was pushing my patience.